Welcome to resolution season 2023, a time when many of us set goals about eating less and exercising more. In honor of January being Mental Wellness month, I would like to suggest adding emotional health goals to that list of good intentions.

This can benefit not just you, it will also make you a good example for the young people in your world. A recent study by Stanford University (Chahal, 2022), showed that pandemic-related stressors have aged adolescent brains the same way trauma and other adverse experiences have been shown to change the brain. And while it is not clear if those changes are permanent, or will lead to poor mental health down the road, it is a reminder of the importance of exercising our brains like we do our bodies.

One goal-setting method that has been found to be effective with young people (and anybody who likes things simple) is WOOP.

W – WISH: What do you Wish would happen, where do you want to end up? This is a good opportunity to talk about what good mental health looks like. It’s not about being happy all the time. We want to feel balanced and have a plan for when we feel stuck in painful or destructive emotions.

O-Outcome: This leads to O, which stands for Outcome. What would be the best result, imagine what will it feel like when you accomplish your Wish?

O-Obstacle: Some people do SMART goals, but to me, this is what makes WOOP a good reflection of real life. What Obstacles might get in the way of your progress as you try to reach your hoped for Outcome. What people, places, things, or events may trigger your anxiety or depression, or other painful feelings?

P-Plan: So now you’re ready to think about what you’re going to do. What helps you stay mentally balanced on a daily basis?  Most people are familiar with mindfulness, breathing techniques, and the importance of good sleep hygiene and nutrition. Here are a couple of ideas that can help when you are in the middle of feeling stuck. These are great to share with young people.

  • Butterfly Hug: Wrap your arms around you so each hand touches an opposite arm or shoulder, then move your hands like a butterfly, tapping your arms or shoulders in an alternating rhythm at whatever speed feels most comfortable. You can also just tap your knees, but the self-hug is a bonus. This method borrows from the  Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) method.
  • TIPP is an easy Dialectal Behavioral Therapy method that can be done anywhere.
    • Temperature: run cold water over your hands or face or hold ice. 
    • Intense Exercise: aerobic exercise for 20 minutes is recommended, but even running in place can help release built-up emotions. 
    • Paced Breathing: breathing in 4 seconds and out for 5 seconds communicates to your body that you are safe. For children, images such as smelling a flower or imagining a balloon that slowly inflates and deflates can be helpful. 
    • Paired Muscle Relaxation – especially helpful when you’re trying to go to sleep, tense and relax muscles in your body from one end to the other. 

Remember, January isn’t some magic month; a new start can begin any day. If you start January strong with your goals and start to lose your momentum, you can give yourself permission to start again. 

Source Data:

Chahal, R., Miller J, Kirshenbaum, J. & Ho, T. (2022) “Higher executive control network coherence buffers against puberty-related increases during the COVID-19 pandemic. Biological Psychiatry: Global Open Science. Stanford News, December 1, 2022 

WOOP – woopmylife.org
Butterfly Hug – emdrfoundation.org
TIPP – dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com